Someone Save Me

from the overly passionate advances of a Siamese cat!

The cross-eyed little cat has been quite worried about me lately. He spent the better part of the last two days curled into my arms, sleeping with me. Right now, he's draped across my throat, making it hard to type with my thumbs, and even harder to breathe.

Love and dedication are all well and good, but does anyone have a shoehorn I can use to remove this cat?

ouch.

Had my first dental appointment. Well, the first of the big badda work they're doing now, not the first ever. It hurt. A lot. I am seriously wishing we hadn't ever started. This is worse than I expected, and I am not sanguine about the end result.

Okay, so when I posted earlier, I was in horrible pain and feeling very low. The pills have kicked in, and I'm brighter now.

Tyrannosaurus's appointment yesterday was not pleasant, but it wasn't too bad. Dr. Baby-Dentist was his usual fabulous self, and he took good care of the poor lil guy. He's very gentle and slow during the exam, and really deft and fast during procedures. So the bad part lasted about five minutes, and then we were done.

Today for me was just horrible. And I wish I could say it was over, but it's not. I still have two or three more really unpleasant appointments before I'm done.

When I am done, though, the result should be beautiful, and, if it is, I'll post pictures :)

Positive Thoughts, Please

I can't remember if I posted this before, and I'm too lazy to go look, so if you've heard this story, feel free to let your attention wander for a paragraph or so.

Tyrannosaurus fell and broke a top front tooth and chipped a bottom front tooth when he was right around a year old. Nightmare day. Absolute nightmare. It was a Sunday, of course, so there was no dentist open, and pesimst's uncle, who is our family dentist, has no emergency number. After a flurry of phone calls, we finally found pesimst's mom at his sister's house, and she gave us a cell phone number to reach Uncle Dentist. He passed us a number from a guy he went to school with who specializes in pediatric dentistry and HIGHLY recommended this guy. So we called. Dr. Baby-Dentist met us at his office, on a Sunday afternoon, to treat the poor lil guy. WONDERFUL man. Absolutely marvelous.

There wasn't much he could do, as Tyrannosaurus was so veryvery young; there aren't a lot of good anesthetic options for bitty ones, not for something like a tooth, anyway. So he cleaned out the hole in the worst tooth (the root core was exposed), slapped some filling material over the top and sent us home with orders to bring him back in two weeks. When we went back, everything looked fine, so he sent us back home to wait for six months.

Flash forward to last night. It's only been three or four, or maybe even five, months since the accident. I went to brush Ty's lil toofers before heading to bed, and the broken one started bleeding; the filling appears to have fallen out. Cute.

So, an emergency phone call later, I called this morning and have an appointment in about an hour. The last one was absolutely awful. I am dreading, dreading, DREADING this one. There's just so little they can do to make it not hurt, and he's so sensitive about his mouth (after the crash-landing). pesimst can't come with us, as he's stuck at work (Mondays, he just can't miss. Ever.). So I'm on my own. With a baby that's going to hurt.

I wish it were me, instead.

motivation

As evidenced by yesterday's list, I'm in go-go-go mode. I feel some better from my nasty coldy-virusy thing, and I only have a couple of days to get things into a self-maintaining mode. Tuesday morning, I'm having the first of three very unpleasant dental adventures which will all leave me pretty much incapacitated for the month. I am glad to be having it all done, but I am NOT looking forward to this in any way, shape or form. Gurgh.

As I mentioned yesterday, school just isn't I the cards for pesimst right now, and he is veryvery down. So down, in fact, that, for the first time since we met, he is really and truly depressed. And he's off work today and being very much an energy suck.

So I have a question: does anybody know a way to wedge a pessimistic pesimst from the livingroom couch? I've offered food, beverages, and even turned the television to obnoxious children's programming to try to budge him. But he's unbudgeable (how's that for making up fun to say words on the fly!). Urgh.

I just have a feeling this is going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong month.

Today: a list

(NOT IN ORDER)

1. nine loads of laundry (if you don't count the one still in the dryer, waiting to be folded)

2. Two loads of dishes (and even the hand-wash only like the iron skillets and the tray for the highchair)

3. Vacuum the carpet

4. Scrub the counters

5. Sweep the kitchen

6. Accept the big dissappointment of pesimst not being able to go to school (finances. Blah)

7. Write two checks to the school so I don't have to pack lunches today.

8. Change 5 diapes, two of them really icky

9. Check the time for The Dog Whisperer. I have a date with a DC

10. Finish typing this list so I can get my youngest two kids and curl up on the couch for our (every other) Friday Night Date!

the weekness in me

In the days and weeks following the birth of my youngest son, I was invincible. My astonishment at the power of birthing that beautiful creature, my way, made me feel mighty, sexy, dazzling. I did that. I rode the waves of labor. I grunted him into the world. My memories weren't clouded by drugs or fear or orders I didn't want to follow or procedures and medications I wasn't allowed to refuse or even discuss. My body was mine, and I had learned to trust it fully.

Now, I hate this body. It failed. It lied, it was broken, and I don't know what any feeling means, anymore. Am I thirsty? Hungry? Tired? Sick? I don't know. Is it any surprise I have had three viruses in two months?

Will it always be this way? Will I ever trust myself again? Will I wake up one day and own this flesh and no longer feel like I'm just wearing a Pixie-shaped suit? That plays into my hunger for another baby, I'm sure. Can I ever get past this without giving birth ever again?

bumma!

No dentist appointments today. DC and I are both rather sick. She threw up breakfast, and I can't breathe and have no voice. Ew.

So I am giving up and going back to bed while I have a pesimst here to watch the baby. Good night