I have often said that all babies should come with an 8 year old brother. Van has been such a huge help with Tyrannosaurus. He loves to play with his baby brother, and he's old enough (and tall enough) to run and fetch everything from a drink to a diaper to the baby!
Now, however, I've changed my mind.
You see, if you have a newborn and an 8 year old, they turn 2 and 10 in the same year.
And that is just Not Cool.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Surely It's Hard to Be a pesimst...
When I Lavf!
Happy Anniversary, my dearest, my beloved, my best friend, my lover, and my husband. You are my pesimst, and I am your Pixie.
I take you.
I honor you.
I cherish you.
I love you.
Always.
Happy Anniversary, my dearest, my beloved, my best friend, my lover, and my husband. You are my pesimst, and I am your Pixie.
I take you.
I honor you.
I cherish you.
I love you.
Always.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Wrath of the Plumbing Gods
And other adventures...
Last week didn't begin well. I had a sore tooth that gradually became worse, until Monday found me very, very ill and hoping for a speedy death. Obviously, that didn't happen. Rather, my wondeful Uncle Dentist called in an antibiotic for me, and my recovery was somewhat faster than my downward slide. Here in about seven hours, I'm going to go in to get the problem behind the pain solved. I am dreading this appointment, and wish it were over and I were drugged and asleep in my bed already. This dread would be the reason I am NOT asleep, even though it's four in the morning, and I'm very tired.
There is another reason, the reason I woke up, in fact, which is not yet my news to tell, so I will wait until it is, and then I'll shout from the rooftops.
So. Last week.
Tuesday I had a dentist appointment to see what needed to be done. Wednesday, I prepared to go shopping for DC's birthday, which had been delayed by a sick DC and then a sick me. I was on my way to the store when her school called to tell me she was sick (again) and to please pick her up. So, obviously, no shopping.
Thursday, I HAD to get to the grocery store, but the sick DC and a growth-spurty Tyrannosaurus made that difficult. I finally determined that I could go after they had each had a post-lunch nap, and began to prepare. It was all going smoothly until I walked through the playroom and splashed in a LARGE puddle of water.
Okay, fine. Call a plumber and just prepare for a fast-food supper.
The hot water heater was shot. Of course. Because, the way the week was going, why wouldn't it be!
The plumber was fab. He gave me the estimate on replacing it and then told me to do it myself, and even gave me careful directions on how to do so! And then he didn't charge for coming out in the first place!
Okay. So, new water heater purchased. I removed the old one. Yes, pesimst helped. But, basically *I* did it. I was SO proud! And, heck, if I can take one out, surely I can put one in, right?!
So, after the second trip to the home store, which had to wait until Friday morning, I had all the water hooked back up and was ready to fill the new tank. Turned the household water back on, and the whole-house wayer filter began spraying water all over the plumbing closet. And pesimst. He was SOAKED.
Third trip to the home store involved getting a new gasket for the filter. Which did not help a bit, I might add. So the FOURTH trip was to pick up an entirely new filter system.
Which would have been great, except the old one was put in by morons. They had GLUED THE PIPE FITTING TO THE OLD FILTER HOUSING. Mind you, this is a part that needs to be changed every 8 to 10 years. Glued. Seriously.
I gave up and called the plumbing company back. Did I mention this was ON DC'S BIRTHDAY??? They said someone would be out in two hours or so.
Three hours later, they called to say someone was finally coming. I started to get giddy. He'd fix it, I could do dishes. I could then make DC's birthday spaghetti, and everything would be great. Well, if pesimst, who was only 5 hours late to work because of the mess, could get home. But I'd worry about him later.
About 10 minutes after the plumber called, Van's school called. He was sitting in the office, but not in trouble. He had rounded a corner just as a teacher opened a door, smacking him in the face and busting his eyebrow open, and could I please come get him, because he needed stitches.
*WHINE*
Okay. I HAD to wait for the plumber. We had no water. Van was being cared for at that moment. So I called pesimst and told him to go fetch Van.
Meanwhile, the plumber had arrived. He poked around for a time. He actually asked me how long we could go without water. Seriously??? About one day less than I have gone without water already, bucko!
Obviously, he couldn't do anything. But he made a list and promised to send someone with the right tools the next day! And didn't charge for the call. Which is good, since I'd have probably kicked him in the shins...
So I was left with a very depressed DC, a bored baby (who'd had to amuse himself most of the day as sister was sick and mama was plumbing the depths of plumbing, Van and pesimst were in an urgent care clinic, waiting to see the ONLY doctor on duty (and it was her first day there), AND NO WATER.
So a friend, upon hearing of the chaos said to me "So here's what you do: pack up the kids and the cake and come over. I'll order pizza, and we'll have a party for DC. And I just did laundry and have enough towels to go around."
To this friend: I can NEVER thank you enough!!! DC has now said three times that she had a great birthday. And, lemme tell ya, it wasn't because of the plumbing problems!!!
We went, we had cake, we got clean.
pesimst and I had an argument over showering arrangements. He wanted to shower together, and I didn't want to be rude. His point on water-savings won the day, though. He pointed out that the less of her hot water we used, the less we raised her heat-the-water bill. And she was being SO GOOD to us. We were in such a hurry to get through, and we both felt weird about seeming "kinky" in someone else's house, that I have never had a LESS erotic two-person shower. Unless you count the fact that we were both lusting after the water...
Saturday morning, things started to get better.
First, Van, on being told that his black eye was developing nicely, ran to look in a mirror and said "Cool!"
Second, the THIRD plumber came out. He looked at the problem, fixed the problem, complimented my hot water heater changing abilities, waited to make sure it filled, chatted and was friendly and kind, and left. The bill was steep, being a Saturday, but worth every penny!!!
I got the water heater wired up, flipped the power on, nearly swooned when the power light came on and waited.
HOT WATER!!!
Then, the big, exciting present for DC arrived. I had ordered it at 11:58 on the 5th. I went with the free shipping option, since it was such a pricey present. And it arrived on the 7th. A blessing and minor miracle for which I am grateful.
All she has asked for since before Christmas is a horse. DC LOVES horses as much as I do. But I cannot get her (or myself) a horse right now. I simply cannot afford the upkeep.
So, for her 7th birthday that was shaping up to be a real downer, I decided to get DC a pony. The FurReal Friends pony Butterscotch. Thankfully, marked down from obscenely expensive to merely really expensive.
She is OVER THE MOON!!! She has named it Bluebell, and she has spent nearly every spare moment grooming, riding or hugging that pony. And it got here so fast, that she never really had to wait for it (I told her what was coming when it looked like her birthday was going to be a washout). She remains enchanted, and, since it seems quite sentient, I suspect the adoration won't pale too quickly.
I'm so glad it's a new week. I hope the appointment today goes better than I'm imagining. And Tyrannosaurus has a dentist visit tomorrow, which won't be fun, as he's terrified of the dentist now. But I'm hoping for no bad news on that visit, as I'm not ready to make the decisions on his teeth yet.
But I got good news this morning. So, hopefully, the worst is behind us, for a little while, at least...
Last week didn't begin well. I had a sore tooth that gradually became worse, until Monday found me very, very ill and hoping for a speedy death. Obviously, that didn't happen. Rather, my wondeful Uncle Dentist called in an antibiotic for me, and my recovery was somewhat faster than my downward slide. Here in about seven hours, I'm going to go in to get the problem behind the pain solved. I am dreading this appointment, and wish it were over and I were drugged and asleep in my bed already. This dread would be the reason I am NOT asleep, even though it's four in the morning, and I'm very tired.
There is another reason, the reason I woke up, in fact, which is not yet my news to tell, so I will wait until it is, and then I'll shout from the rooftops.
So. Last week.
Tuesday I had a dentist appointment to see what needed to be done. Wednesday, I prepared to go shopping for DC's birthday, which had been delayed by a sick DC and then a sick me. I was on my way to the store when her school called to tell me she was sick (again) and to please pick her up. So, obviously, no shopping.
Thursday, I HAD to get to the grocery store, but the sick DC and a growth-spurty Tyrannosaurus made that difficult. I finally determined that I could go after they had each had a post-lunch nap, and began to prepare. It was all going smoothly until I walked through the playroom and splashed in a LARGE puddle of water.
Okay, fine. Call a plumber and just prepare for a fast-food supper.
The hot water heater was shot. Of course. Because, the way the week was going, why wouldn't it be!
The plumber was fab. He gave me the estimate on replacing it and then told me to do it myself, and even gave me careful directions on how to do so! And then he didn't charge for coming out in the first place!
Okay. So, new water heater purchased. I removed the old one. Yes, pesimst helped. But, basically *I* did it. I was SO proud! And, heck, if I can take one out, surely I can put one in, right?!
So, after the second trip to the home store, which had to wait until Friday morning, I had all the water hooked back up and was ready to fill the new tank. Turned the household water back on, and the whole-house wayer filter began spraying water all over the plumbing closet. And pesimst. He was SOAKED.
Third trip to the home store involved getting a new gasket for the filter. Which did not help a bit, I might add. So the FOURTH trip was to pick up an entirely new filter system.
Which would have been great, except the old one was put in by morons. They had GLUED THE PIPE FITTING TO THE OLD FILTER HOUSING. Mind you, this is a part that needs to be changed every 8 to 10 years. Glued. Seriously.
I gave up and called the plumbing company back. Did I mention this was ON DC'S BIRTHDAY??? They said someone would be out in two hours or so.
Three hours later, they called to say someone was finally coming. I started to get giddy. He'd fix it, I could do dishes. I could then make DC's birthday spaghetti, and everything would be great. Well, if pesimst, who was only 5 hours late to work because of the mess, could get home. But I'd worry about him later.
About 10 minutes after the plumber called, Van's school called. He was sitting in the office, but not in trouble. He had rounded a corner just as a teacher opened a door, smacking him in the face and busting his eyebrow open, and could I please come get him, because he needed stitches.
*WHINE*
Okay. I HAD to wait for the plumber. We had no water. Van was being cared for at that moment. So I called pesimst and told him to go fetch Van.
Meanwhile, the plumber had arrived. He poked around for a time. He actually asked me how long we could go without water. Seriously??? About one day less than I have gone without water already, bucko!
Obviously, he couldn't do anything. But he made a list and promised to send someone with the right tools the next day! And didn't charge for the call. Which is good, since I'd have probably kicked him in the shins...
So I was left with a very depressed DC, a bored baby (who'd had to amuse himself most of the day as sister was sick and mama was plumbing the depths of plumbing, Van and pesimst were in an urgent care clinic, waiting to see the ONLY doctor on duty (and it was her first day there), AND NO WATER.
So a friend, upon hearing of the chaos said to me "So here's what you do: pack up the kids and the cake and come over. I'll order pizza, and we'll have a party for DC. And I just did laundry and have enough towels to go around."
To this friend: I can NEVER thank you enough!!! DC has now said three times that she had a great birthday. And, lemme tell ya, it wasn't because of the plumbing problems!!!
We went, we had cake, we got clean.
pesimst and I had an argument over showering arrangements. He wanted to shower together, and I didn't want to be rude. His point on water-savings won the day, though. He pointed out that the less of her hot water we used, the less we raised her heat-the-water bill. And she was being SO GOOD to us. We were in such a hurry to get through, and we both felt weird about seeming "kinky" in someone else's house, that I have never had a LESS erotic two-person shower. Unless you count the fact that we were both lusting after the water...
Saturday morning, things started to get better.
First, Van, on being told that his black eye was developing nicely, ran to look in a mirror and said "Cool!"
Second, the THIRD plumber came out. He looked at the problem, fixed the problem, complimented my hot water heater changing abilities, waited to make sure it filled, chatted and was friendly and kind, and left. The bill was steep, being a Saturday, but worth every penny!!!
I got the water heater wired up, flipped the power on, nearly swooned when the power light came on and waited.
HOT WATER!!!
Then, the big, exciting present for DC arrived. I had ordered it at 11:58 on the 5th. I went with the free shipping option, since it was such a pricey present. And it arrived on the 7th. A blessing and minor miracle for which I am grateful.
All she has asked for since before Christmas is a horse. DC LOVES horses as much as I do. But I cannot get her (or myself) a horse right now. I simply cannot afford the upkeep.
So, for her 7th birthday that was shaping up to be a real downer, I decided to get DC a pony. The FurReal Friends pony Butterscotch. Thankfully, marked down from obscenely expensive to merely really expensive.
She is OVER THE MOON!!! She has named it Bluebell, and she has spent nearly every spare moment grooming, riding or hugging that pony. And it got here so fast, that she never really had to wait for it (I told her what was coming when it looked like her birthday was going to be a washout). She remains enchanted, and, since it seems quite sentient, I suspect the adoration won't pale too quickly.
I'm so glad it's a new week. I hope the appointment today goes better than I'm imagining. And Tyrannosaurus has a dentist visit tomorrow, which won't be fun, as he's terrified of the dentist now. But I'm hoping for no bad news on that visit, as I'm not ready to make the decisions on his teeth yet.
But I got good news this morning. So, hopefully, the worst is behind us, for a little while, at least...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
to do tomorrow (or, by the time I finish typing, today)
1. Order horse (of the fake variety)
2. Install new hot water heater (provided we get the right part)
3. Dishes, dishes and yet still MORE dishes
4. Finish decorating cake
5. Go BACK to store for bread and card
6. And gift bags...
7. Pick up and vacuum livingroom
8. Laundry
9. Change beds
10. Lots more boring stuff
11. Have birthday party for a very, very special 7 year old girl
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DC!!!
Thank you for making me a mama
2. Install new hot water heater (provided we get the right part)
3. Dishes, dishes and yet still MORE dishes
4. Finish decorating cake
5. Go BACK to store for bread and card
6. And gift bags...
7. Pick up and vacuum livingroom
8. Laundry
9. Change beds
10. Lots more boring stuff
11. Have birthday party for a very, very special 7 year old girl
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DC!!!
Thank you for making me a mama
Sunday, March 1, 2009
An Open Letter to the Rest of You
Dear Sir or Madam (and one Madam in particular),
I am doing my best. I am expected to be available to my children and husband, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. I rarely get a break from parenting/wife-ing/ housekeeping/life, and so I sometimes get overwhelmed and make mistakes. So here are a few guidelines to making any interaction between you and me (or any other SAH-parent) easier.
1) Do not, under any circumstances, speak derisively about my job. It's hard work! I have made a lot of sacrifices to make this my "career," and, while circumstances have been good to me, I do not appreciate being told "not all of us are lucky enough to be stay at home moms!" in nasty tones of voice by people who have said they go crazy being "stuck home with the kids." Your lack of appreciation for what I do for my own kids (and possibly yours, as I make time to volunteer for school and sports) makes me MUCH less likely to ever make time in my life to help you out.
2) Assume my good-intent in everything that pertains to the children. Even my Feminism takes a backseat to my advocacy for children and children's rights. Children have no legal rights, but they do have needs. One of those needs is having care, love and positive attention from the adults in their life. That attitude leaves me very little space to waste time or effort just to make things difficult for you. What I do, I do for children, and if it seems like it was against you, step back and look again. It was probably just a split-second decision to meet a need for a child. If my motivation seems unclear, just ask what happened. If you attack before getting an explanation, you will probably never get that explanation!
3) Don't use me as your personal secretarial service. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the schedules for the five members of my family. If you have questions about time or place, please look elsewhere first. You have internet access. Use it.
4) Even though I'd love to be Superwoman, I'm not. I'm human. I will make mistakes, have bad days, and sometimes I would love to chuck the whole thing, hire a daycare and go to work where I could at least get actual money for my time and energy, not to mention real meal breaks and the company of adults. When I'm overwhelmed, be patient. Don't expect me to do even one more thing and don't make me feel any guiltier about saying "no." If I said yes to everything I was asked to do, I would have no time left for the things I need to do, let alone the things I WANT to do. "Stay at Home Parent" is not synonymous with "not working." I have lots of work, and you almost never see it. You'll see the results in children wearing clean clothes, getting good grades, being well-fed and well-behaved, though. Compliment me on those outcomes, and I'm yours forever.
Parenting is hard work, whether you work outside the home or not. Work with me on raising children, yours, mine, ours, someone else's, and it'll run so much more smoothly for everyone. Kids deserve our time, our attention and our love. Since that's my primary goal and the point of my job, help me out. Respect my family, my time, my intentions and me. When you do, I will respect you, too, for providing for yourself and your kids financially and for finding ways to keep yourself feeling fulfilled.
Staying home with the kids isn't for everyone, but it was the right move for me. You may need to work for the money or the personal satisfaction, and that makes it the right thing for you. I don't have time to make you defend your choices, so please don't make me defend mine.
Sincerely,
pixie larouge
I am doing my best. I am expected to be available to my children and husband, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. I rarely get a break from parenting/wife-ing/ housekeeping/life, and so I sometimes get overwhelmed and make mistakes. So here are a few guidelines to making any interaction between you and me (or any other SAH-parent) easier.
1) Do not, under any circumstances, speak derisively about my job. It's hard work! I have made a lot of sacrifices to make this my "career," and, while circumstances have been good to me, I do not appreciate being told "not all of us are lucky enough to be stay at home moms!" in nasty tones of voice by people who have said they go crazy being "stuck home with the kids." Your lack of appreciation for what I do for my own kids (and possibly yours, as I make time to volunteer for school and sports) makes me MUCH less likely to ever make time in my life to help you out.
2) Assume my good-intent in everything that pertains to the children. Even my Feminism takes a backseat to my advocacy for children and children's rights. Children have no legal rights, but they do have needs. One of those needs is having care, love and positive attention from the adults in their life. That attitude leaves me very little space to waste time or effort just to make things difficult for you. What I do, I do for children, and if it seems like it was against you, step back and look again. It was probably just a split-second decision to meet a need for a child. If my motivation seems unclear, just ask what happened. If you attack before getting an explanation, you will probably never get that explanation!
3) Don't use me as your personal secretarial service. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the schedules for the five members of my family. If you have questions about time or place, please look elsewhere first. You have internet access. Use it.
4) Even though I'd love to be Superwoman, I'm not. I'm human. I will make mistakes, have bad days, and sometimes I would love to chuck the whole thing, hire a daycare and go to work where I could at least get actual money for my time and energy, not to mention real meal breaks and the company of adults. When I'm overwhelmed, be patient. Don't expect me to do even one more thing and don't make me feel any guiltier about saying "no." If I said yes to everything I was asked to do, I would have no time left for the things I need to do, let alone the things I WANT to do. "Stay at Home Parent" is not synonymous with "not working." I have lots of work, and you almost never see it. You'll see the results in children wearing clean clothes, getting good grades, being well-fed and well-behaved, though. Compliment me on those outcomes, and I'm yours forever.
Parenting is hard work, whether you work outside the home or not. Work with me on raising children, yours, mine, ours, someone else's, and it'll run so much more smoothly for everyone. Kids deserve our time, our attention and our love. Since that's my primary goal and the point of my job, help me out. Respect my family, my time, my intentions and me. When you do, I will respect you, too, for providing for yourself and your kids financially and for finding ways to keep yourself feeling fulfilled.
Staying home with the kids isn't for everyone, but it was the right move for me. You may need to work for the money or the personal satisfaction, and that makes it the right thing for you. I don't have time to make you defend your choices, so please don't make me defend mine.
Sincerely,
pixie larouge
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