Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Merry Christmas, mother. You owe me.

Tonight I took the family for pictures. Yes, my mother asked for a single family picture from each of the little family units in her family. I could choke her for that, quite merrily, to be honest.

You see, my kids do NOT take pictures. DC doesn't smile in pictures, which is weird since the kid smiles all the time when a camera is not pointed at her. Van doesn't say cheese, he looks like he CUT the cheese. Tyrannosaurus is the easiest to get a decent picture, but it's always iffy, and sometimes he doesn't cooperate. Add to that the fact that I refuse to really smile, until such time as I can afford to get my teeth fixed and pretty, and pesimst hates having his picture taken (he's much more photogenic than he credits, but he's picky and stubborn).

It was not a good experience. The chick taking the pictures was massively click-happy. She wouldn't wait for anyone to get ready, and then she bitched about how bad the pictures were turning out. Then she bitched out my kids. Seriously. Talked to them so rudely, so hatefully. I stepped in front of her and gave her the "Oh, bitch, you did not just say that" look. And she kept going.

"Well, we couldn't get a good picture of you because none of you would smile or do what you were supposed to. If you'd all sat still and smiled before we could take more pictures, but we just have to have that bad one of you because you couldn't do what you were supposed to."

That would be when I blocked her from following my kids into the hall and said "I do NOT appreciate you speaking to my children that way. It is NOT your place to chastise them, scold them or tell them how to behave. I am on the verge of walking out of here right now and calling your superior."

She apologized, but she did not realize what she had done wrong. I bet she still does not have a clue.

I bought the pictures I wanted, mainly so I wouldn't have to go through all of that again. I think I will send an email to the corporate offices, however. NO ONE gets to scold MY children for their own short-comings.

The only people, aside from their parents, who get to say ONE WORD of correction to my children are those people who are helping me raise them, namely, my sisters, my best friend and, occasionally, their grandparents. Why? Because these are all (for the most part, with the occasional exception of the grandparents) people who love my children and will provide guidance, not a lecture in an annoying, patronizing voice. AND, these people who help with my children respect that I am their mother and correct them according to my rules.

Yes, it takes a village. Photo Lady, you are NOT part of my village; you're just an annoying stranger who really, really pissed me off.

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