My Perfect Life

I was told something yesterday that I found absolutely delightful, and a bit funny. I was told I have the perfect life. Now, obviously, I would never claim any such thing for myself. But, you know what, in a lot of ways, she was right. My blessings far outweigh the negatives in my life, and I am, overall, very content.

Thinking about it made me want to ask, and answer for myself, a question: in detail, what three ways is your (my) life perfect. And the flip side is, in what three ways does it lack.

So, if there's anyone who still reads after the whining I've done lately, consider yourselves tagged.

My three perfects:
1. My children. My children are my reason to get out of bed every morning. Yes, that's in large part to insure they don't burn down the house while I'm lying in bed, but still... LOL

They're all bright and creative, funny, independent, willful and curious. They love each other, even when they seem to be trying their level-best to kill each other, and they try to spend every waking moment together.

They love me, even when I'm "Mean Mom," and they forgive my impatience and lack of perfections. They make every triumph sweeter with their grace in cheering for me, and they make every failure easier with their hugs and unconditional, unquestioning love. Without them, I would not live and my existence would be dull, indeed.

2. My husband, confidant, lover, partner, best friend, soul mate and the reason I can face anything, pesimst. He is the foundation of my world. It takes my breath away, the frightening, enervating, inspiring, peaceful way I love him and he loves me.

I have never really believed in that whole story of "true love" before. I thought only the weak could lose themselves in the heart of another. And when I loved him, I lost my heart and found my soul. I never knew that giving myself completely to another person could give me so much freedom and power. When I suceed at anything, the extra gust of his joy helps me soar even higher, and when I screw up and flop, the tenderness and understanding, the unshakeable strength of his love gives me a safe place to land. The richness of having someone who freely shares life allows me to see the world through two pairs of eyes, and that makes so much room for discovery.

3. A real, true home. I have never known a home before. I am a wild gypsy at heart who has always just drifted around, home simply being the place my cat lived. But this place is home. And it's not just the house that I've spent so many hours personalizing. It's not our quiet corner of land with its broad terraces, protective trees and rickety old barn. It's the way I feel here, peaceful and centered and belonging. This place feeds my soul. It is safe and welcoming. It is home.

My three imperfects
1. My mess. I never have the time, drive or energy to keep the house and yard to the standards my mother tried to instill in me. I try to get organized, but I can always find something I'd rather do.

2. My lack of personal security. Until I finish college, my earning potential is very limited. Having three children, I MUST change that. If I should need to support them on my own, I must be able to do so. Having a husband who drives at night and has a job with a certain amount of risk who also rides a motorcycle in sometimes heavy traffic, it would be foolish to not have a plan b in place. This is my biggest worry and the thing I most desire to change.

3. Influences on my children over which I have no control. I cannot, in this forum, explain this very much. But there is a specific instance where this is a big problem. And I am helpless to do more than offer a safe haven from it at home and hope it all comes out in the wash.