Did I spell that right?
So, to be fair, and as a result of feeling more like my perky old self today, I thought perhaps I should list the things that went right this summer.
Since our wireless phone service expired in July, pesimst got us each new phones, to go with our new provider. And he got me a Sidekick. I am in love. With the phone. Well, and, obviously pesimst, too. However, this thing is the device I have been searching for all my life! I have email, a great little writing program, the internet, my calendar, my address, plus games and fun, and, of course, conversation, all at my fingertips. No more trying to get the kids settled to run to the back room so I can fire up the computer. Well, okay, rarely. And the unlimited data service is dreamy! pesimst, my older sister, a friend in Texas, and a cousin of mine can all be reached, any time of day, free. If something funny happens, a quick text to my sister, and she'll have a laugh on lunch break. Need something from the store? Text pesimst any time, and he'll check it when he has time, no work interruptions. LOVE it!!!!!
Another good thing that happened is that I got all of my appointments set up to get my dental problems fixed. It's going to take a month (next month), but I'll be able to really smile again. I am so giddy!
The kids are healthy and happy. Van, the oldest, is in fourth grade. He has the only male teacher in the school this year, who is the one he was hoping to get. The guy is really cool, very nice, and has really inspired good behavior and hard work, so far. DC is in first grade, and taking some time to adjust. She's not great at the follow-through on her work. But her teacher is patient and kind, and seems more interested in cooperation than obedience, and DC loves her. Tyrannosaurus is 15 months old, and a SCREAM! He has a delightful sense of humor, and a spicy-hot temper. When he's happy, he's very, very happy, and when he's not, he's loud. Of course, he's loud when he is happy, too...
Tyrannosaurus still has his bad habit of beating his head when frusterated. Right now, he has one big bruise on his forehead from walking into the corner of a table. The other four bruises were self-inflicted, when he just got mad.
The other good news is that he doesn't appear to have food allergies, although he's a bit sensitive to dairy. But I have reason to hope he'll outgrow that. Thank heaven, since I cannot live without cheese! LOL
Last June, pesimst and I took part in a charity poker run. Now, for those of you who, like me before we signed up, have no idea what that is, we took the motorcycle out to five different places and got five sealed envelopes with a playing card inside. We then returned to the park we started from, got another card for a small donation, and then made the best poker hand we could out of our cards. The best part of the day was getting to spend it tucked on the back of the bike with pesimst, just being together for several hours. The second best part was winning the grand prize! :) All of the burly biker guys thought it was hysterical that the tiny girl on the bike with the skinny, very non-biker boy won a $500 Harley-Davidson gift certificate! And I had the perfect Father's Day present for pesimst! He was thrilled to finally get a luggage rack and bag, plus lots of decorative accessories for Doreen (the Harley), so he didn't have to wear the backpack that was hurting his back to work anymore. And he got me a cool new diaper bag!
We're planning on another afternoon out on the bike in a week or so. I really can't wait. There's something so liberating about riding. There's just not room on there for emotional baggage. Not to mention the fact that it uses so little gas and has such low emissions! I also love the togetherness we get from curling up on her seat and just being.
Oh yeah, and I'm going to be an aunt again :) That's the happiest part of all for me. My younger sis, who has had her own summer of hell, is pregnant, after not being sure it would ever happen again. She's a great mom, and she's always wanted a busy family. I'm so excited. Some days, it's a little hard, but mostly, it's just very healing to have another baby coming into the family. Especially since she uses the same midwives as me, will nurse well into toddlehood, and gently parents in an attached fashion. It's nice to get excited, know I won't have to bite my tongue a la "why are you doing THAT to that baby?!" and knowing this baby is an answer to a dream and a prayer. What a blessing!
So life is never all bad, even on the days it feels like it is. There are little things like new phones, fun things like big, expensive prizes, and awesome, magical things like children and new babies to be celebrated. And today I celebrate, and I am humbled and grateful.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
They're Baaa-aaaaaack!
Hi all. I'm back. It's been a rough summer. At this point, I'm just glad it's over, trying to pick up the pieces, and trying to find a new definition of normal and just get on with life.
To catch everyone up: I was cat-sitting three cats for someone who was out of their home for MONTHS due to a flood and insurance issues and bank issues and a work crew that was all crew and no work. Their lives sucked. The cats, however, pissed. And pissed. And pissed. One of these days, I'll quit finding tinkle spots, and my nose can come back to life. I hope. LOL
Just before my birthday, I found I was unexpectedly pregnant. However, before I had even really begun to process it, I miscarried. On my birthday. Each year, I tentatively begin to celebrate my birthday figuring it just can't be THAT bad, can it? And it is. Every year. This past May, a friend called me to wish me happy birthday. After she said it, she asked "It is a happy one, isn't it? Yours get weird." Yes, they're really like that. So I'm done now. I have learned my lesson. From now on, it's a day. Just an ordinary day, although, it will probably be an ordinary day which I will spend in bed with a mixed drink in one hand and a few bottles of wine under my pillow, just in case it should be one of THOSE again.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, the house began to fall apart: a glass door got broken, and our carpenter has gone MIA, so we don't know when it'll get replaced. The front porch post came down due to a dog. The drain in the bathtub broke. The hot water heater has begun to act weird. The house filter assembly (we're on a well) is acting screwy and keeps trying to spray water around the utility closet. The un-stretched carpet has gone from beginning to wrinkle to HORRIBLY wrinkled - like don't walk across the livingroom in the dark, for fear of tripping and dying. We had to replace the couch, the baby's mattress, his playpen, several items of clothing from everyone, shampoo all three of the other mattresses, shampoo the chairs, the chaise, the carpet, the carpet and the carpet, find a gentle way to clean the felt on the pool table, and throw away more than half of my shoes from cat pee. The two outdoor dogs got into a huge fight, leaving one of them pouring blood onto my kitchen floor and the other with a roughed up neck and a hole in the skin of his chest that nearly killed him. One of my cats was bitten on her back, which led to an abscess and a very sick kitty. One of the cat-sat cats was allergic to something in the house and ended up half-bald on her neck and legs. I still don't know what it was that got to her, but I felt SO BAD! And then we hit the middle of an Oklahoma summer, and started to have to fight fleas. Urgh.
In June, I began to feel strange. I figured, no way. We've been SO CAREFUL. No way. Well, yeah, way. I was again pregnant. I wanted to sit on it and not tell anyone, but I started showing really early. So I started to tell people, started to get happy, started to feel hopeful. And then, the day pesimst first referred to my pregnancy with the words "The Baby," I started to bleed. It was twins, and I lost them. I was 8.5 weeks along.
At this point, I've come to the conclusion that we won't be having any more children. We had tentatively begun discussing the possibility of trying in a year, and then pesimst's job went rather south. Things there are not good, not stable, very frustrating and very frightening. Plus, I need some serious dental work done. We had planned on doing it a year ago, but we had a baby, instead. So we're planning on it before too long, but I honestly don't know if it'll happen, what with the job problems and the cost of gas and groceries (amended: and the phone just rang. It was pesimst, and we're going to the dentist tomorrow to schedule the first part of the dental fix!). So, since I want to go back to school to finish a library degree, and I don't want to wait too long, since pesimst wants to retire early, and I don't want to work through his retirement. When he retires, I wouldn't mind working a bit longer, but I want time with my husband. We never had time with "just us" in the beginning like so many people have, we came into this marriage with kids already in tow. So we're planning on, and working towards that as a goal.
Anyway. I'll stop rambling now. Long story short: the summer sucked. It's over. School is back in session, and I like both kids' teachers. I'm back at the keys on this blog. Hope to "see" you all back here soon, too!
To catch everyone up: I was cat-sitting three cats for someone who was out of their home for MONTHS due to a flood and insurance issues and bank issues and a work crew that was all crew and no work. Their lives sucked. The cats, however, pissed. And pissed. And pissed. One of these days, I'll quit finding tinkle spots, and my nose can come back to life. I hope. LOL
Just before my birthday, I found I was unexpectedly pregnant. However, before I had even really begun to process it, I miscarried. On my birthday. Each year, I tentatively begin to celebrate my birthday figuring it just can't be THAT bad, can it? And it is. Every year. This past May, a friend called me to wish me happy birthday. After she said it, she asked "It is a happy one, isn't it? Yours get weird." Yes, they're really like that. So I'm done now. I have learned my lesson. From now on, it's a day. Just an ordinary day, although, it will probably be an ordinary day which I will spend in bed with a mixed drink in one hand and a few bottles of wine under my pillow, just in case it should be one of THOSE again.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, the house began to fall apart: a glass door got broken, and our carpenter has gone MIA, so we don't know when it'll get replaced. The front porch post came down due to a dog. The drain in the bathtub broke. The hot water heater has begun to act weird. The house filter assembly (we're on a well) is acting screwy and keeps trying to spray water around the utility closet. The un-stretched carpet has gone from beginning to wrinkle to HORRIBLY wrinkled - like don't walk across the livingroom in the dark, for fear of tripping and dying. We had to replace the couch, the baby's mattress, his playpen, several items of clothing from everyone, shampoo all three of the other mattresses, shampoo the chairs, the chaise, the carpet, the carpet and the carpet, find a gentle way to clean the felt on the pool table, and throw away more than half of my shoes from cat pee. The two outdoor dogs got into a huge fight, leaving one of them pouring blood onto my kitchen floor and the other with a roughed up neck and a hole in the skin of his chest that nearly killed him. One of my cats was bitten on her back, which led to an abscess and a very sick kitty. One of the cat-sat cats was allergic to something in the house and ended up half-bald on her neck and legs. I still don't know what it was that got to her, but I felt SO BAD! And then we hit the middle of an Oklahoma summer, and started to have to fight fleas. Urgh.
In June, I began to feel strange. I figured, no way. We've been SO CAREFUL. No way. Well, yeah, way. I was again pregnant. I wanted to sit on it and not tell anyone, but I started showing really early. So I started to tell people, started to get happy, started to feel hopeful. And then, the day pesimst first referred to my pregnancy with the words "The Baby," I started to bleed. It was twins, and I lost them. I was 8.5 weeks along.
At this point, I've come to the conclusion that we won't be having any more children. We had tentatively begun discussing the possibility of trying in a year, and then pesimst's job went rather south. Things there are not good, not stable, very frustrating and very frightening. Plus, I need some serious dental work done. We had planned on doing it a year ago, but we had a baby, instead. So we're planning on it before too long, but I honestly don't know if it'll happen, what with the job problems and the cost of gas and groceries (amended: and the phone just rang. It was pesimst, and we're going to the dentist tomorrow to schedule the first part of the dental fix!). So, since I want to go back to school to finish a library degree, and I don't want to wait too long, since pesimst wants to retire early, and I don't want to work through his retirement. When he retires, I wouldn't mind working a bit longer, but I want time with my husband. We never had time with "just us" in the beginning like so many people have, we came into this marriage with kids already in tow. So we're planning on, and working towards that as a goal.
Anyway. I'll stop rambling now. Long story short: the summer sucked. It's over. School is back in session, and I like both kids' teachers. I'm back at the keys on this blog. Hope to "see" you all back here soon, too!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Please come visit!
Most of you are aware of my sweet baby boy, born one year ago. Well, my sweet baby boy is growing up so quickly. He even has his very own show in which I am but a bit player. ;)
Come visit us at
The Mr Manz Show!
Come visit us at
The Mr Manz Show!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Well, obviously...
Sorry, folks. I've been lax. Now I'm officially putting this blog on an extended hiatus. My life just isn't here right now. I've been so busy with everything else, that I don't usually get on the computer more than three times a month lately.
So, when I have the "other" project up and running, I'll come back by and put up a link. Until then, be well, take care, and feel free to email me sometime!
So, when I have the "other" project up and running, I'll come back by and put up a link. Until then, be well, take care, and feel free to email me sometime!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Mewwiage...
Is what brought us together a year ago today. I never thought it would happen. I never thought I would want it to happen. But it happened, and I wanted it, and I have been glad ever since!
Last night, when I saw it was midnight, I ran to pesimst and told him, "Happy Anniversary!" He swooped me up in his arms, swung me around and squeezed the stuffing out of me.
I asked, "Did you ever think we'd be celebrating and saying 'Yea! It's out anniversary! We're so happy we got married!?'"
And we are. We both are. I love him like mad, which is an abnormal state for me. There are days he makes me so mad, I could thump him with a shovel. And an hour later I am so excited that he's coming home from work that I am actually giddy and giggling. I carry on a running conversation with him in my head. I filter so many things through his eyes. I'll see something bright and pretty and feminine that I like and I'll picture the look of horror on his face at anything "girly" and laugh and laugh. I know he does the same, since he calls throughout the day to talk for about 45 seconds, just to report something he saw, heard or thought of. And I adore him for it.
My love, my darling, my pesimst, thank you for the last year. Thank you for holding me during the birth of our son. Thank you for backing me up with the difficult bits involving the school. Thank you for sometimes seeing things my way and sometimes sticking to your guns. Thank you for laughing with me lots, fighting with me a little and loving me every minute. May every anniversary see us celebrating a year that, no matter how hard on each of us individually, was so wonderful for us together.
Last night, when I saw it was midnight, I ran to pesimst and told him, "Happy Anniversary!" He swooped me up in his arms, swung me around and squeezed the stuffing out of me.
I asked, "Did you ever think we'd be celebrating and saying 'Yea! It's out anniversary! We're so happy we got married!?'"
And we are. We both are. I love him like mad, which is an abnormal state for me. There are days he makes me so mad, I could thump him with a shovel. And an hour later I am so excited that he's coming home from work that I am actually giddy and giggling. I carry on a running conversation with him in my head. I filter so many things through his eyes. I'll see something bright and pretty and feminine that I like and I'll picture the look of horror on his face at anything "girly" and laugh and laugh. I know he does the same, since he calls throughout the day to talk for about 45 seconds, just to report something he saw, heard or thought of. And I adore him for it.
My love, my darling, my pesimst, thank you for the last year. Thank you for holding me during the birth of our son. Thank you for backing me up with the difficult bits involving the school. Thank you for sometimes seeing things my way and sometimes sticking to your guns. Thank you for laughing with me lots, fighting with me a little and loving me every minute. May every anniversary see us celebrating a year that, no matter how hard on each of us individually, was so wonderful for us together.
I (still) do.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
I'm not supposed to write this post
Quite obviously, since the baby has woken up every single time I've sat down to write it today. Of course, he also didn't nap this afternoon, which is why I'm trying to write this now, when I'm supposed to be at my sister's theatrical-type function (sorry, that's all the detail I can give you. Yes, I know the rest of the details, but you only know if you know who my sister is). He hasn't napped today. He took a beautiful nap this morning before his daddy left. You know, when I still had help and had someone I could have given him to for the time it would take to fold that last load of freakin' laundry or maybe eat a sandwich. Since then, he's fallen asleep for about 5 minutes at a time, just long enough for me to be CERTAIN he's asleep so I can wander off to prepare food (I put it in the microwave for 2 minutes. It sat for about an hour before I remembered it). My face is literally bleeding from where he's clawed at me in his frustration. My eardrum hurts from having him scream in it for an hour.
I got him to nap at 5 (only two hours later than he usually does), and I decided to dye my hair very quickly so I'd be ready to leave here by 6:45 to make it into the city by 7:30. He woke up the moment I put the first swipe of dye on my hair. And screamed. The whole eight minutes it took me to coat my hair. Then I set him on the floor in front of my chair and patted him with my foot (hey, give me a break, I didn't want to hold him by the dye). I put him in his swing while I went to rinse the color. And he screamed the whole time. Again. But I wasn't left much of a choice.
When I picked him up after that, he just twisted and clawed at me for some time, until I got irritated and had to put him down. I offered him some banana (which he spent more time squishing into his fat rolls than eating) just to make him not scream. I tried about three different foods, wondering if he was hungry for something other than milk (and my supply is down thanks to hormones). No. He was not. Just ask my carpet.
I'm so tired right now just from having to wrestle him all night long that I could honestly lie down on the floor and go to sleep, even with the idiot dog climbing over me, the baby pulling my hair and the possibility of being peed on by a cat. Hey, the baby isn't screaming. He's not sleeping, but at least he's standing on his bed and not screaming. Oh. Wait. He's trying to eat the stuffing out of my comforter. Guess I should put a stop to that. So maybe you'll get the heartfelt, tender, loving post I was getting ready to write a little later on...
I got him to nap at 5 (only two hours later than he usually does), and I decided to dye my hair very quickly so I'd be ready to leave here by 6:45 to make it into the city by 7:30. He woke up the moment I put the first swipe of dye on my hair. And screamed. The whole eight minutes it took me to coat my hair. Then I set him on the floor in front of my chair and patted him with my foot (hey, give me a break, I didn't want to hold him by the dye). I put him in his swing while I went to rinse the color. And he screamed the whole time. Again. But I wasn't left much of a choice.
When I picked him up after that, he just twisted and clawed at me for some time, until I got irritated and had to put him down. I offered him some banana (which he spent more time squishing into his fat rolls than eating) just to make him not scream. I tried about three different foods, wondering if he was hungry for something other than milk (and my supply is down thanks to hormones). No. He was not. Just ask my carpet.
I'm so tired right now just from having to wrestle him all night long that I could honestly lie down on the floor and go to sleep, even with the idiot dog climbing over me, the baby pulling my hair and the possibility of being peed on by a cat. Hey, the baby isn't screaming. He's not sleeping, but at least he's standing on his bed and not screaming. Oh. Wait. He's trying to eat the stuffing out of my comforter. Guess I should put a stop to that. So maybe you'll get the heartfelt, tender, loving post I was getting ready to write a little later on...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A Love Letter
Dear Van, DC and Tyrannosaurus,
Do you know how proud I am of you? Do you know how amazing I find it that you're all growing into the people you are? There's not a dud in the bunch, and you are my very favorite people.
Van, you're learning how to work so hard, so hard on your school work. I'm proud of you for learning how to get your homework together and get it all home. It's hard to break sloppy work habits, and you're trying very hard. I just know you're going to have great successes in these last nine weeks. Just look at how far you've come on reading. I am dazzled by the way you have caught up and surpassed everything you were expected to do. You can do it!!!
DC, you're becoming quite the little lady. You're room looks just lovely, and that's thanks to you. You have really learned what it means to be clean and organized in your belongings. You're reading so well, and your writing is really starting to look better. When you take the time to watch what you're doing, you make beautiful letters and numbers. Good job!
Tyrannosaurus, you are one cool baby. You know so many words, and learning how to argue is quite a skill for one so little. I hope I never forget the "Bite?" "No bite!" conversation. How precious you are! These days with you by my side or at my breast are rare and wonderful and gone much too quickly.
Kids, I love you. I love all so much more than I ever thought I could love ONE person, let alone three! You fill my life and my heart and make everything I do special. I hope I can be the kind of mother that encourages you, builds you up, gives you a safe place to come when life gets rough, and the kind of mother who helps you go at the world with gusto. There's so much out there I want you to see and know. I promise to try to give you the foundation you need to achieve any goal, reach any prize and know how to try again should you fail.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will always be your
Mother
Do you know how proud I am of you? Do you know how amazing I find it that you're all growing into the people you are? There's not a dud in the bunch, and you are my very favorite people.
Van, you're learning how to work so hard, so hard on your school work. I'm proud of you for learning how to get your homework together and get it all home. It's hard to break sloppy work habits, and you're trying very hard. I just know you're going to have great successes in these last nine weeks. Just look at how far you've come on reading. I am dazzled by the way you have caught up and surpassed everything you were expected to do. You can do it!!!
DC, you're becoming quite the little lady. You're room looks just lovely, and that's thanks to you. You have really learned what it means to be clean and organized in your belongings. You're reading so well, and your writing is really starting to look better. When you take the time to watch what you're doing, you make beautiful letters and numbers. Good job!
Tyrannosaurus, you are one cool baby. You know so many words, and learning how to argue is quite a skill for one so little. I hope I never forget the "Bite?" "No bite!" conversation. How precious you are! These days with you by my side or at my breast are rare and wonderful and gone much too quickly.
Kids, I love you. I love all so much more than I ever thought I could love ONE person, let alone three! You fill my life and my heart and make everything I do special. I hope I can be the kind of mother that encourages you, builds you up, gives you a safe place to come when life gets rough, and the kind of mother who helps you go at the world with gusto. There's so much out there I want you to see and know. I promise to try to give you the foundation you need to achieve any goal, reach any prize and know how to try again should you fail.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will always be your
Mother
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
