What Joy! What Bliss!

Tonight, Van, who is in the fourth grade and had a "rough" first semester, brought home his five week grades. I had my hands in soapy water, and, as he held it in front of me, I closed my eyes and held my breath. When I opened my eyes, I nearly cried. The boy who cam thisclose to failing social studies and science had an A in one, and a B in the other. The rest of his grades were pretty fab, too. Four As and 4 Bs. I was so proud! I know he's really buckled down to work and study. I have always known he was capable. BEYOND capable. He's quite smart.

But...

He has some very serious hyperactivity going on. When things are settled in his life, he is pretty good at controlling it. Things have been so haywire for him lately, though, and his head is twisted up so tightly in worrying about things much too big for a 9 year old to worry about, he has had changes happening all around him that are beyond his control, some of his core beliefs and foundations have been shaken. And he's been WILD! I've tried to offer shelter and security. I've tried to offer firm boundaries and unwavering love. His dad tries to offer the same. But there's only so much life we can protect our children from.

But his grades weren't the happiest part of the day:

Tonight, as we worked on his math homework, something magical happened!

When he's working on something that is difficult for him, I get out paper and work beside him, so we can "learn it together" and "check each other's answers." The first problem was division. He is still struggling with multiplication, so I knew we'd have a time with it. I had him work it as a picture problem, and he finally found the answer. And, all of a sudden, he GOT IT. I watched the light come up in his eyes. His shoulders lifted, and his chin came up proudly. He KNEW THE ANSWER.

He understood division, and multiplication became easier. He really, really saw the reason behind the facts. That moment, the strength and confidence I saw in him, the glow to his gorgeous, exotic dark-hazel eyes, the triumph that hovered around his lips like a victorious war cry - it's all stuck in the photo album of my heart and mind.

How I love that boy! He has added so much to my world, broadened and deepened every experience in so many way in the (almost) three years he has been "mine."

Sure, there were some rough spots at the beginning. He was such a shock after quiet, self-sufficient DC! We had some mutual suspicion and hesitation, of course. But, when I opened my heart to him as a part of his father (to whom my whole heart belonged), he responded to it with a welcoming friendship. And, as I got to know him and love him for being his own unique (soooooo very unique!) person, he came to love me for loving him and for showing him love and caring.

And now he is mine. He is my child as certainly as DC and Tyrannosaurus. His father has never been stingy with sharing Van's early years, until I know his stories nearly as well as DC's. I am always thrilled when he refers to me as "my mom" at school, and I'm also glad that he willingly makes the distinction between his mother and me at school.

But, today, I am happiest that I got to be there, to see his eyes light up, to watch his face transform, as he developed a love and excitement for my own favorite part (and, in fact, the only part I like at all!) of math.

Congratulations, Van. I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!